I've learned a few things about life from the mighty sport of Roller Derby. I'm a sharing kind of person:
1. Tap into your inner mongrel to protect the people you love
On the track, this is your jammer. In life, this is your partner, your family, your friends; the-rock-solid-been-through-thick-and-thin-friends, not-your-have-a-laugh-over-a-beer friends. That's an important bit, you can't protect everyone in derby or life. Prioritise.
I was taught to be a nice girl. In fact, my mother taught me that being nice and being considerate of others was the single most important quality I could embody as a child.
I agree that this is true most of the time, in most situations, and old habits are hard to break. However, I'm never going to be a decent player if I'm worried about the other team liking me. And leaving my team-mates open to be smashed isn't a very nice thing to do. So I'm learning how to not be nice, to hit back- legally, at the right time, and with calculated outcomes. Never in anger ('cause that ain't nice).
*NB I have a wee theory about derby girls: the hardest hitters have the biggest hearts. I'm trying to grow my heart.
2. Get happy. No one wants to hang out with a downer.
Some days we skate better than others but let us try to cut down on the audio-version of our miserable, self-deprecating inner monologues. Please. Rumination isn't healthy for anyone.
Next time I hear a girl say, "I'm soooo bad today.", I'm going to tell her to stop criticizing my friend. And hopefully next time I get sent to the penalty box, the cloud of shame will only last the minute that the refs have given me. Sport and life are punishing enough without you ganging up on yourself.
Let it go and try to have a good time! And if you're not having a good time, try to fake it 'til you make it.
3. Ground compliments reality
Everyone likes to be told that they are awesome but I think it's important to qualify that kind of comment. To qualify it sets up realistic expectations, realistic egos and proves that the praise isn't just lip-service.
At training the other night, Ana Phylaxis of Dunedin Derby was teaching me how to surge. She swept in front of me, sat on my quad and forced me, seemingly effortlessly, off the track. Then it was my turn.
I awkwardly veered towards her, kinda got in front of her, made contact and tried to herd her out of bounds. I knew it was nothing like she'd done to me and it would have been insulting/a boldfaced lie if she'd said, "That was great."
She didn't.
Phlax said, "That was alright for a first time, you just gotta get the timing. It took me ages to get the timing. You'll get there."
Phlax was positive, accurate, trustworthy, forward focused and most importantly, I believed her.
It reminded me of my 7 year old who often says something like, "8 plus 4 is 12. I'm so right. Am I a genius?"
"No," I chose to pop the bubble, "but you're very clever and if you keep practising you might be one day."
It is important that I'm honest, so he trusts my compliments now and in the future.
Derby is bruising me up, giving me a break from parenting, and teaching me how to parent better.
4. Talent = Time Spent
No one expects Freshmeat to be an expert at derby. League Girls just expect some effort and some improvement. I've been told that I'll probably play 100 games before I even know what's happening on the track (only 94 to go...). I have made peace with the fact that I'm not very good...yet.
When I was at school, I thought I was good at some subjects and bad at others. And I was. Somethings are and somethings aren't. Very philosophical but I didn't recognise why.
The key is that I spent a lot more time on some subjects than others. I read novels, watched movies, aruged with my parents, spent hours talking to my friends on the phone (whoa- showing my age there!). This time spent on my hobbies all honed my skills for the lucrative subjects of English Literature and undergraduate Psychology.
"Time on skates" is the advice every League Girl will pass on to Freshmeat. I'm starting to take this pretty seriously. I put my skates on to make a salad. I do 20 squats every time I brush my teeth. I go to training two nights a week and then play around on the court on a Sunday afternoon. I watch youtube clips. I practice "opening the buffet" on the fence at the park. Little things but something is better than nothing.
Malcolm Gladwell coined the 10, 000 hours first but here I am finding myself trying to execute it. Derby is so cool, it has made me a total geek. Top tip: Life is more fun when you're a geek.
5. Ah, the endorphins!
That's it. Life is better with exercise. It alarms me how often I have to rediscover this.
So, a big THANK YOU to the sport of Roller Derby!
1. Tap into your inner mongrel to protect the people you love
On the track, this is your jammer. In life, this is your partner, your family, your friends; the-rock-solid-been-through-thick-and-thin-friends, not-your-have-a-laugh-over-a-beer friends. That's an important bit, you can't protect everyone in derby or life. Prioritise.
I was taught to be a nice girl. In fact, my mother taught me that being nice and being considerate of others was the single most important quality I could embody as a child.
I agree that this is true most of the time, in most situations, and old habits are hard to break. However, I'm never going to be a decent player if I'm worried about the other team liking me. And leaving my team-mates open to be smashed isn't a very nice thing to do. So I'm learning how to not be nice, to hit back- legally, at the right time, and with calculated outcomes. Never in anger ('cause that ain't nice).
 |
| I'm in the pink! |
*NB I have a wee theory about derby girls: the hardest hitters have the biggest hearts. I'm trying to grow my heart.
2. Get happy. No one wants to hang out with a downer.
Some days we skate better than others but let us try to cut down on the audio-version of our miserable, self-deprecating inner monologues. Please. Rumination isn't healthy for anyone.
Next time I hear a girl say, "I'm soooo bad today.", I'm going to tell her to stop criticizing my friend. And hopefully next time I get sent to the penalty box, the cloud of shame will only last the minute that the refs have given me. Sport and life are punishing enough without you ganging up on yourself.
Let it go and try to have a good time! And if you're not having a good time, try to fake it 'til you make it.
3. Ground compliments reality
Everyone likes to be told that they are awesome but I think it's important to qualify that kind of comment. To qualify it sets up realistic expectations, realistic egos and proves that the praise isn't just lip-service.
At training the other night, Ana Phylaxis of Dunedin Derby was teaching me how to surge. She swept in front of me, sat on my quad and forced me, seemingly effortlessly, off the track. Then it was my turn.
 |
| Phlax is second from the left |
She didn't.
Phlax said, "That was alright for a first time, you just gotta get the timing. It took me ages to get the timing. You'll get there."
Phlax was positive, accurate, trustworthy, forward focused and most importantly, I believed her.
It reminded me of my 7 year old who often says something like, "8 plus 4 is 12. I'm so right. Am I a genius?"
"No," I chose to pop the bubble, "but you're very clever and if you keep practising you might be one day."
It is important that I'm honest, so he trusts my compliments now and in the future.
Derby is bruising me up, giving me a break from parenting, and teaching me how to parent better.
4. Talent = Time Spent
 |
| May Maim, Primm Reaper, Rocket Queen |
No one expects Freshmeat to be an expert at derby. League Girls just expect some effort and some improvement. I've been told that I'll probably play 100 games before I even know what's happening on the track (only 94 to go...). I have made peace with the fact that I'm not very good...yet.
When I was at school, I thought I was good at some subjects and bad at others. And I was. Somethings are and somethings aren't. Very philosophical but I didn't recognise why.
The key is that I spent a lot more time on some subjects than others. I read novels, watched movies, aruged with my parents, spent hours talking to my friends on the phone (whoa- showing my age there!). This time spent on my hobbies all honed my skills for the lucrative subjects of English Literature and undergraduate Psychology.
"Time on skates" is the advice every League Girl will pass on to Freshmeat. I'm starting to take this pretty seriously. I put my skates on to make a salad. I do 20 squats every time I brush my teeth. I go to training two nights a week and then play around on the court on a Sunday afternoon. I watch youtube clips. I practice "opening the buffet" on the fence at the park. Little things but something is better than nothing.
Malcolm Gladwell coined the 10, 000 hours first but here I am finding myself trying to execute it. Derby is so cool, it has made me a total geek. Top tip: Life is more fun when you're a geek.
5. Ah, the endorphins!
That's it. Life is better with exercise. It alarms me how often I have to rediscover this.
So, a big THANK YOU to the sport of Roller Derby!
