You are not lost

You're not lost if you don't care where you are.

My mother said this umpteen times when I was growing up.  And now that I find myself living on the other side of the globe in a town I had not even heard of 12 months before embarking on a life here, it makes me smile.

My mother is slightly heartbroken that I broke her only commandment ("Do not get married and have my grandchildren on the other side of the world."). And I am sure she didn't mean for me to interpret her throw-away, flippant idiom quite like this.

But hey!

I had a vision for my life. Lots of people have goals.  Particularly for before they turn 30. I had one:

1. To live in a place where I do not have to leave the building to do laundry.

I had a vague vision of living in a large city, with a very active social life that was based on some bizarre expectations and values as dictated by a combination of "Sex and the City", Lonely Planet and "Bridget Jones' Diary"- the books, not the movie. The best laid plans, eh?

As you can imagine, I was alarmed on my 30th to find myself married, in smalltown 'burbs, with a baby, a step-son and a house that required somebody (me?!? surely not) to weed the gutters. I did not accept my fate gracefully. It was a dark few months and I was lost.

Without going into the details of the drama, I've made peace with my fairly conventional life.

I know this is a phase. It will not last.  The good of it and the bad of it will be unrecognisable in a year or two or five.  So, I am enjoying my visit to the suburban jungle before I go off traipsing around Morocco and Turkey and Bahrain and Paris again.

Just because you aren't where planned, doesn't mean you're lost.